I'm going to be completely honest right now, life is a total mess, and I haven't been able to handle it. Usually when things get crazy in life, I can mask my emotions and push it aside, but not this time. I'm not sure why this time is any different, but it is. It reminds me way too much of the times back when I was struggling with life, back 4 years ago. I just can't really deal with it.
If you've been around me the past couple of weeks, you might have noticed I wasn't the same as I usually am, and I apologize for that. I try not to show it, or take it out on people but I'm just so over it that I can't even control it anymore.
Its been rough. Lots of stress with the last few weeks of school (thank God), Having to try to bring my grades up (pray for that miracle), ups and downs with friendships, ups and downs with myself, ups and downs with my faith, and all that other crazy stuff that's been going on.
I've given up on a lot of things in the past few months. I've always told myself that I would never give up on any person no matter what happens between us. Unfortunately, I think I have. I've given up on trying, honestly I've given up on friendships in general. I have never had good luck with friendships, ever. All my friendships tend to break, and the only common factor is me. I break friendships, I'm a curse. I've given up on not only making friends, but being a friend, and having friends.
Right now, I think that's my biggest problem, friends. So, I just want to apologize to all my friends, I haven't given up on you, and I will always be here for you, I've just given up on friendships. I'm sorry...for everything.
Hey Chelsea, you are not a curse. You are a blessing to be around, and you are loved. I'm praying for you and I want you to know your not alone in what you are feeling and you don't have to hide your emotions. If you ever want to talk you know how to reach me. love ya, God bless.
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