History Repeats Itself

You've heard that phrase before that history repeats itself? If you ask any history teacher why we have to learn history, that is most likely their answer. I believe this, and I don't just believe this with history history, I believe this with life, your past, the history of you.

Any who, I tend to go back to my old ways very very often. The best and quickest example is cussing. I used to cuss religiously, horrible habit that took lots of hard work to break, and yes they slip sometimes but thats normal. Oh oh oh here comes history and BOOM! Cussing comes back (Shhh don't tell anyone but sometimes I even do it at church on accident.) 

If you knew me, and the things I've been through you would know that they were rough for me (Others may not think they were rough, but everyone has a different tolerance rate, and have been through different things so its personal.)  Anyway, I went through them. All the depression, the feelings of being unloved, the suicidal thoughts, all that crap for a long time. I got out of it though, I came out of it slowly because I found Christ again.

You know where I'm going eh? (got my Canadian accent going on there sorry 'bout that.) Well here comes history...again, and I'm right back where I was almost 3 years ago. I must say, its not as bad as it was previously, but its there.

You must know your history to get out of the situation when it does repeat itself. Does that make sense? If you know what happened, why it happened, and how you got out of it, you can get out of it again. I know what happened, I know why it happened, and I know how I got out of it. Now, now I just need to get out of it, and I'm working on it.

If you've been around my lately and you've noticed that I've been a little off, that's why. History is repeating itself, and there are some new factors that I'm having to deal with other than the ones I previously mentioned (the depression, suicide, and felling of worthlessness). Please please please keep that in mind, and please please please bare with my as I struggle.

I Have The Best Friends

If you didn't know, most of my friends, or at least my good friends, come from my youth group. As I've said before I have the best youth group in the world. So technically, through some type of math and or distributive property my friends are the best friends in the world. I'll expand.

Youth Group = Awesome 

 & 

Youth Group = Friends 

 So 

Friends = Awesome 

See what I did there? Does that make sense? Now let me expand and explain why I actually do have the best friends in the entire world. 

Like I said, most all of my friends come from my youth group, which in my opinion is a HUGE blessing. See when your friends come from a place like a youth group, you know they're real. You also are all striving for the same thing, to learn about and glorify God. The fact that some of your best friends have a common goal like that, it helps all of us stay on track. For me, they are the first people I go to when I have a problem or just need to talk. I know that their opinions and advice are based on whats best for me and God. To me its just one of those things that makes our friendship stronger. 

I think also because we are Godly people we want to do whats best for each other so we will go out of our way to help and make each other happy. I think that's just a part of it though. I mean because we know God we know what love is and we know how to love and I think we have so much love for each other that it just easily pours out of us. 

We're close, we really are. Other youth groups are no where near as close as we are. Honestly I don't even think we call the events we plan together youth group events its just a bunch of us hanging out. There is a group of about 9 of us that are extremely close and hang out together often. This week is spring break for us, and literally we have seen each other almost everyday. Monday we got together and played grounders at the park. Tuesday we went to the zoo. Wednesday we had youth group. Thursday we went to the beach. Friday we got together and worshiped for Good Friday. I mean that's not just youth group stuff, that's friend stuff. 

An example of how amazing my friends are is today actually. I've been wanting to play badminton lately, but haven't gotten to so I tweeted about  it today and about an hour later I get a call from one of my friends telling me to come outside. BOOM! There they were badminton rackets at hand, singing songs to me and ready to play. I mean these people don't live close to me, but they came out just to play badminton with me! How amazing is that?! 

I just can't get over how amazing my friends are, and how blessed I am to have such a great youth group and group of friends that I love with all my heart.