History Repeats Itself

You've heard that phrase before that history repeats itself? If you ask any history teacher why we have to learn history, that is most likely their answer. I believe this, and I don't just believe this with history history, I believe this with life, your past, the history of you.

Any who, I tend to go back to my old ways very very often. The best and quickest example is cussing. I used to cuss religiously, horrible habit that took lots of hard work to break, and yes they slip sometimes but thats normal. Oh oh oh here comes history and BOOM! Cussing comes back (Shhh don't tell anyone but sometimes I even do it at church on accident.) 

If you knew me, and the things I've been through you would know that they were rough for me (Others may not think they were rough, but everyone has a different tolerance rate, and have been through different things so its personal.)  Anyway, I went through them. All the depression, the feelings of being unloved, the suicidal thoughts, all that crap for a long time. I got out of it though, I came out of it slowly because I found Christ again.

You know where I'm going eh? (got my Canadian accent going on there sorry 'bout that.) Well here comes history...again, and I'm right back where I was almost 3 years ago. I must say, its not as bad as it was previously, but its there.

You must know your history to get out of the situation when it does repeat itself. Does that make sense? If you know what happened, why it happened, and how you got out of it, you can get out of it again. I know what happened, I know why it happened, and I know how I got out of it. Now, now I just need to get out of it, and I'm working on it.

If you've been around my lately and you've noticed that I've been a little off, that's why. History is repeating itself, and there are some new factors that I'm having to deal with other than the ones I previously mentioned (the depression, suicide, and felling of worthlessness). Please please please keep that in mind, and please please please bare with my as I struggle.