Rude Mood

Lately I have been in a bit of a rude mood. You know one of those moods where you are angry and a jerk to everyone, and you come home and think, "Wow, I was a total ass today." Welp I've been in one of those moods for a really long time, and it's upsetting me.

I've been taking my rood mood and anger out on people, and not only is it affecting me, but its affecting others as well. I think its breaking friendships, and its breaking me too. I've always had anger problems, but I started to learn how to control them, and right when I was doing fine BOOM something happens and they come back. I have been feeling horrible because of how often I have been taking things out on people.

I don't know what has come over me lately, my anger and emotions seem to be getting the best of me. I hope that people can be patient with me while I try to figure out why its happening, and will be patient with me while I try to fix it. I hate being a jerk, I honestly do, its the last thing I want to be towards someone.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. That is the definition of love. I love my friends, but by being rude, I'm obviously not showing it.

T.G.I.A.D

You know that saying T.G.I.F Thank God It's Friday? Well not only do I love it, but it also inspired me to come up with another saying, T.G.I.A.D meaning Thank God It's Another Day. Get it?! I thought it was nice. Anyway, I thought it was lovely, and it seems to be one of the only things that keeps getting me through the day.

I mean think about it. God chooses to give us, unworthy sinners, another day on this planet. Thats not even the best part though, God doesn't think we are unworthy sinners, he thinks we are holy and blameless! Isn't that just so amazing?! It blows my mind, God chooses to give us life, but he doesn't want us to take advantage of it, rather than just doing everything we want, he asks us to show him, Christ, through us. Not that bad right?

It just amazes me, that he continues to give us life, and the least we can do is show others his love and grace. I don't know, it just kind of blows me away. T.G.I.A.D!

Thankful Thursday, Thanksgiving!

A lot of people I know who blog do this thing called thankful Thursday, and it kind of keeps us in check to be thankful more often, so I've decided that I'm going to start to TRY to do thankful Thursday every Thursday. I figured that today, Thanksgiving day, would be the best day to start.

There are a lot of things that I am thankful for, and I won't say them all, and I won't go into great detail, but I'll give you an idea of some of the things.

Family: Family is HUGELY important to me. I have a bunch of different "families" not just immediate or blood related that I have been blessed with.
     *Immediate/Blood family: I love my family with all my heart, they are the only people that have been with me from the start. Of course like all families we don't always get along, but I think that's the point of having a family.
     *Church/Youth Family: These people are a huge factor in my life. They are some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. I don't count them as just my church, or just my friends, they are truly an extension to my family. Sometimes when we pray we say, "Lord thank you for not only letting us gather her and worship you, but thank you also for the amazing people and the closeness of this amazing family. We are truly blessed. Amen"  Or you know things along that line.
                                     Family, they are amazingly important!

Friends: Oh goodness I love my friends. Some of them have been with me from birth, some of them I have just recently met, but all of them mean the world to me.
     *School Friends: I have a bunch of school friends, but recently I have found a group that I absolutely  love! They are the funniest people at school, I'm positive about that. They are just amazing people. I am extremely happy that I found them.
     * Church Friends: Well they aren't just my friends, they are my family.

God: I mean that pretty much sums it up. God is God, always has been, always will be. God gave us everything that we should be thankful for. My faith means the world to me, and without it, I may not even be here today. Christ is just amazing I mean there is no way for me to express how important Christ is to me. My mind is blown just trying to think about it! I mean God, sent his only son Jesus to die for us so that , ALL, did you get that?! ALL, every single one of our sins could be forgiven! Also so that we can be saved by GRACE  did you get that too?! GRACE, NOT WORKS! That is how we are saved. Not only are we forgiven and saved but through Christ we are given the opportunity to spend ETERNITY with God, our one and only Heavenly Father, our Creator, The Creator Of The Universe! Does that just blow your mind?! That is God for you, and that is something we should super thankful for.

There are so many other things that I am so thankful for, but I figure this post is long enough as it is. I just am so blown away by everything I am blessed with, people, things, opportunities, everything, it just blows my mind. I just wish everyone reading this a Happy Thanksgiving, or if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I wish you a very Happy Thursday, and a very happy rest of the week! 

Brick By Brick

Lately I've been having some troubles with who I've become..Or well not who I've become but really who I haven't become more like the Chelsea I haven't shown. I have built these walls to keep myself in and others out of not only my life, but also my mind and emotions. Lately though, I have found that this is not a good idea, those walls that I built throughout my lifetime, are not only causing me pain, but also others too. I have put up so many walls trying NO thinking that they will help protect me but in reality I have found that they are just hurting me more and more.

The thing about walls though is that I can't really just take them down right away, it takes time, I have to remove these walls brick by brick, stone by stone. I want people to see the real Chelsea but I'm afraid.

These walls, they are affecting me in ways that when I built them, I never thought they would. I built these walls protecting me and others from a person that I didn't want anyone to see. Unfortunately now because nobody is seeing past these walls, its effecting me emotionally.

Walls, I have to get rid of them slowly, brick by brick, you just wait and see.

Winter Jam!

So, Winter Jam came to my town recently and it was an amazing experience. For those of you who don't know what Winter Jam is, Winter Jam is a concert with a bunch of Christian bands where you can come and worship Christ with thousands of other people and just have an amazing time. Like all other Christian concerts, I went with my youth group. We always get there early to wait outside in line. We think its a lot of fun, and use it as bonding time.


We got in early and for free because we volunteered. Mega plus! Not only did we get fellowship and worship, but we got to show our love of Christ by volunteering! We helped volunteer with Holt International where you can sponsor a child for $30 a month. It was an amazing opportunity.

We finally got in, pretty much got VIP treatment because we got in early, and just hung out until the concert started. When it finally did it was amazing! There were so many amazing bands, and so much love in the room of over 7,000 people. It was the most amazing feeling ever when the bands would stop playing and turn the mic. on the audience and we would just sing, and pour our hearts out.

I love these concerts, its a way for me to pour my heart out to Christ, and just worship him. I come away from these types of things with what I call, "A Jesus High" I'm sure all of us know what that is. But I just walk away from these things so happy, and so in awe of God, and the worship just is the most amazing thing ever. I thank God for these amazing opportunities he gives us.

Somewhat Content With My Evening

I haven't had a very good week, been kind of in a funk, have had many tests, and I got pooped on by a bird. Tonight though made up for it, or well somewhat made up for it.

I spent a lovely evening alone which I hadn't done in a while, and I must say that I loved it. Plus that wasn't the only thing that made me happy, I had Bacon!

Yes, bacon oh I love it so much! I've decided that if you gave me a Coke, and a plate full of bacon, I will love you forever. Anyway, the bacon was delicious, and I tried to fry up potatoes but it didn't really work, but hey I got potatoes covered in bacon grease, that's pretty good.

I still have homework but I probably won't do it. Lovely evening I must say.

My Biggest Fear

We all think about what our biggest fear is correct? I hope so because sometimes that's the only thing on my mind. I've been through many fears; spiders, losing my memory, and eating Styrofoam. Most recently though my biggest fear is that I don't show my love for people enough.

I'm afraid that people don't know how much they mean to me, how important they are to me, or how much I love them. I don't want anything to happen to me, or them and not have them know how important they are to me and how much I love them. I tell them that every day, and I try to show it as much as possible, but I never know if I do, or if they even realize it.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I want to make sure that people know how much they mean to me, and how much I love them. I'm afraid that I don't show it, but hey, they only thing I can do is continue to show it, and I must say that I am completely fine with that!

I Want To Be

I've never really thought about what I want to be when I get older, I don't like to think about the future, or even the past, but recently I have thought about who I want to be. You see, there is a difference between the 2 of those, or in my mind there is. What you want to be to me is like a job, or a profession; who you want to be is more internally, the kind of person you want to be. Make sense?
As I grow, I want to be...


A Friend. I mean yes, that's obvious, who doesn't want to be a friend, but I want to be a real friend. All of us have those fake friends that come in and out of our lives, and are just fake. With me, I want to have a real friendship, be one of those friends that are here all the time no matter what. When I go into a friendship, I'm in it for the long run.

A Christian. I am a Christian yes, but I don't want to be a fake Christian. I want to be one that shows their faith through themselves, and their actions. I want to be that Christian that everyone knows is really a Christian. I want to be an ambassador for Christ!

A Listener. I want to be that person in peoples lives that listens, and I mean really listens to them. I want to be that person that people talk to, that people can trust. I want people to know that I am here, and my ears are wide open.

Myself. One of the things I really want to be is myself. I want to find myself, and who I want to be, and what I want to become. I want to be comfortable with myself, and who I am. I just want to be me!

Grace and Dodgeball

Youth team! Go Orange Crush! 

Today, we talked about grace at church, and to me its one of the most amazing things in the world. We defined grace as: "getting what we don't deserve." Crazy isn't it? Christ gives us so many things we don't deserve. He gives us unconditional love, he gives us all the things we have, and he gives us freedom from sin. We really don't deserve any of that due to the fact that we are sinners, but Christ sent his son for us so that we can live eternally with him. Do we deserve that? In my mind, we don't, but he gives it to us anyway. It's just so amazing!

Youth leaders team!

Now every year my church puts on this thing called Dodge For Dinner, and we all donate money/food so that we can feed the less fortunate, and then we play dodgeball (I put it as 1 word, but I think it can be 2). This was our 2nd Annual Dodge For Dinner tournament, and this year the youth group had 2 teams! Unfortunately both our teams lost, but that gave us an excuse to play more dodgeball so that we could get better, plus we had a blast and made some pretty awesome shirts "You can dodge a ball, but you can't dodge Jesus!" So blessed to have so many amazing people, and so many amazing opportunities!

Put on a Happy Face

 Do you ever just slap on a smile and continue with your life, but deep down you are breaking? I honestly don't know why I ask because nobody actually reads this and if we face the truth, all of us have done this at some point.

It's that feeling that you need to put on that happy face for everyone. Unfortunately you are never satisfied, and you still continue to break more and more. The fact of the matter is yes, you can put on that happy face, but it won't get you anywhere. You will still continue to be breaking inside, you will still continue to feel like crap, and none of that will actually change unless you get to the root of the problem.

People don't like getting to the root of the problem because it brings up so many things that they don't want to think about. Honestly, if you don't get to the bottom of how you are feeling, nothing is going to change, you are still going to have, that sadness, and loneliness, or whatever other emotion you are feeling.

You can only slap on a smile for so long until you realize that it's fake, and not working. The only way to deal with the problem is to get to the bottom of it, no matter how hard it might be. Just remember that you don't have to do it alone, and you are always, always loved.

"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever." Psalm 52:8