I get into these weird phases and I become am person that I'm not. I use this other me as a defense mechanism, its like my personal wall that people unfortunately think is me. I have become known as this "wall Chelsea" the fake Chelsea. I just don't want people to know who I am and where I am because then you'll see the "soft" Chelsea, the Chelsea that is in a place in her life that she is ashamed of and the sad state that shes in.
I can pinpoint the times in my life that have brought me into these phases, I can see the lines that I crossed, I can relive all of that in my mind, those are the moments I wish I could take back. I'm sorry that all of you know the horrible person I become and became when I get into these "phases" because that's not me. Unfortunately I'm living my life in that phase, as that Chelsea.
I'm sorry that its taking so long for me to show the real me, and become the real Chelsea. I never ever wanted to be this person, but I've been given multiple chances to get out of this fake Chelsea, I just need to start taking them. I'm sorry, I really am.
"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" Relient K
" 'Cause I don't want you to know where I am 'cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state its ever been. This is no place to try and live my life."
"I'm sorry for the person I became I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change I'm ready be sure I never become that way again 'cause who I am hates who I've been."
"Who I've been only ever made me."
Its just a really good song that REALLY kind of describes me right now. Take a really good listen to the lyrics and then you'll start to understand whats happening and why I'm this way.
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