We Love And We Unite

Ok, I'm sorry for that really weird title, I couldn't really think of one because this post will be a special surprise 2 in one post. Yay! Ok so lets start with this one because its shorter.

We Unite

So, if you know my youth group, you would know that we have a ton of different fun and funky corks whether it be a persons laugh, or the way we say amen after we pray. Lately, we've been holding hands while we pray. I know some people do this, but we've never really done it before, and I must say that I really like it. I do this weird thing when I hold hands though, I tend to stroke their hand with my thumb. I know it sounds super weird but it soothes me. I also do this thing where I take their hand and put it up to my forehead, I don't know why I do it, I just do. But anyway we were holding hands and praying and I was stroking their hand, and when we said amen I put their hand to my forehead. Now you see, normal people would freak out and think that was completely weird, but instead of looking up to a horrified face, I looked up to a smiling face. You could tell this smile was a "I know most people would think this is weird, but I love it with all my heart" Type of smile. I mean how much more blessed could I get?

We Love

"We love because he first loved us" -1 John 4:19. Have you heard that verse? If you haven't let that sink in for a second. I mean I strongly believe that. If you knew me before I was a strong believer in Christ, you would know that I was completely  NOT loving AT ALL. If you look at me now you would think that my love is obnoxious. See, when I wasn't a strong believer, actually I wasn't even a believer at all. So, when I wasn't a believer, I didn't show love because I really didn't know what it was. I wasn't really shown love, I mean yes of course my family showed me love, but I didn't really think of it as love. It wasn't until I was truly shown Gods love both directly from what I've learned and what he's done for me, but also indirectly through people. My youth group was really the first people to ever show me what real love was, and how to really love a person. I walked in, and the first thing I felt was a big wave of love, and I still walk in and feel that. Now I can't hold that love back, its why I'm so annoying about it. We really don't know what love is until we see Gods love, and with out seeing his love, we can't truly love. "We love because he first loved us." Its that simple. 

How Far We've Come

Don't you just love those nights when you lay in bed and realize how far you've come in life compared to last year or for me, 3 years ago. I mean just sitting there realizing that a few years ago you were laying in bed hoping that you wouldn't wake up the next day, but now your praying that you get the blessing of waking up and showing people love. Sitting there remembering all the struggles you went through and finally pinpointing the exact breaking point in your life that changed you. I mean I remember the exact moment when I broke down and prayed for the first time in 4 years. Breaking down and bursting into tears, praying for the first time, and then having all these overwhelming emotions. That just blows my mind! I'm just so amazed at how far we can come and how much we can change. Realizing the breaking point remembering that first prayer like you had just said it yesterday, knowing you'll never go back, and being blown away by how for you've came. Amazing.

Disappointment

I hate disappointment. I hate disappointing other people, and just as bad I hate disappointing myself. Over the past few weeks thats been happening, and its been rough. The worst part is, the people I disappoint are the last people I want to do that to. Its upsetting, and things like this always happen to me so I should be used to it but I'm not. If you could get a medal for disappointing people, I would win. I'm sorry for not only disappointing myself, but more importantly I'm sorry for disappointing you.

Please No More Letters

Over the past 2 days I have gotten 4 letters from colleges that I didn't even know existed. I have told my self to be a child for as long as possible but I guess this is a wake up call telling me that I don't have much more time. I've also never thought about college so my reaction to these letters was to throw them on the ground and get upset that colleges "want me at their school" Such a lie by the way, nobody wants me at their school, I'm a horrible student. School is not my thing and I'm  not going to rush it but I admit, I did send the colleges their reply back for more information letters. Lets just hope I can still be a child even with this wake up call.

Winter Camp!

Finally Winter Camp came. I had been waiting all year for it to come, I've been counting down the days, it's really all I've been able to think about. It finally came, and I must say it was an amazing experience, every part of me loved it and will never forget it. I just love it so much up there!

This weekend was amazing. Almost all of my youth group went, I wish everyone did, but it was still amazing. We had a blast or at least I did. We played a bunch of games, did crafts, ate food, and all that amazing camp stuff. Chapel this weekend was amazing! The band; I loved them! The speaker from last year was actually the lead singer in the bad this year. Stories In Braille, go check them out they were a great group of guys. Jason, our speaker who actually works at the camp so we know him, talked about Biblical Justice. It was amazing.

I learned so much from this weekend, spent time with the people I love most, and grew closer to God. It really can't get any better than that. I just hope and pray for everyone that went up that we don't forget about the amazing experiences we had, the amazing things we felt, and the amazing things we learned. I pray that we can continue to remember them, show them, and put into action everything we got out of this.


It was an altogether amazing weekend that I know I will never forget, and I hope nobody else does either. I hope I really did actually get a lot out of it because I think I did. And most importantly it was such a blessing to have this opportunity to get away from my regular schedule, go up to the mountains (My Fav place by the way), be with people I know and love and people that I don't know but still love, grow closer to God, and just learn and worship him. AMAZING!

I love camp so much and can't get over how amazing it is!

Someone Take Me Somewhere

Someone please take me somewhere.
Somewhere where I can see every star, and every planet
Somewhere where the sky is clear and the air is SUPER clean
Somewhere where I can just sit and watch this amazing earth revolve around the universe God created
Somewhere where I can read a book and relax by the fire
Someone take me somewhere where I can look down on the hustle and bustle of a big city
Take me to some random ghost town and just sit, talk, and hang out with me
Someone take me on a road trip to anywhere, any random not predetermined destination, lets jut get in the car and drive
Just please please please get me out of here.

(Alright that was my little "I'm desperate to go leave somewhere" rant)

Fun During Finals?

So it's finals week for me, and it's been very stressful. I've been very busy studying, but it doesn't seem to do anything. I still have the same grades in my classes, but if they did change, they went down. Just great right? Well, I've been dreading this week since school ended last year. Anyway, we all know what finals week is like so really I don't have to explain anymore.

Well out of all this negative, there has to be a positive right? Welp you're right! I got to go to youth group (we probably should have been studying but who does that?). It was an AMAZING night, all we did was worship, our pastor spoke for like 10 min, and then we had a giant (and I must say pretty epic) Nerf war! I mean to be able to go to youth, my favorite place in the world, AND to have a Nerf war, how much better could it get?! To go to youth group by its self is amazing, and just from that to be able to get my mind off of school is all I could ever want. Then to have a Nerf war, which I'm pretty sure helped get a lot of my kept in anger (from finals week) out is just the most amazing thing ever!

If I haven't said this a billion times before, I LOVE MY YOUTH GROUP!!!